Dear Mozaic...

Chiquitita, 

It's been two and a half years since you made your grand appearance. 

Words simply cannot express how amazing it has been to watch you grow and to see how much you've developed in this short period of time. In these two and a half years, I've realized how strong and independent you are becoming. You constantly surprise me with your willingness to push boundaries and face your biggest fears. But, what I admire most about you is your character, and how compassionate you are to those around you.  

To think that you started out as a teeny-tiny seed in mommy's belly. Mommy and daddy couldn't wait to find out more about you, and we were super excited to see you grow and develop inside of me. I remember being the most curious about your appearance. Who would you resemble the most? Mommy and daddy constantly debated, would you look like your sassy #Latina mama or you're nurturing #Filipino papa? There were so many thoughts and questions, but the only thing that was certain was our excitement to nurture and speak life and positivity into you.

Now fast forward to the actual day you blessed us with your presence. The excitement was mounting, emotions were racing, and I was ready for Mozaic to come out. Can you believe you stayed in my belly for 41 weeks! That's a LONG TIME! Somedays I wake up and while I stare at you everything still feels so surreal. 

After 36 hours of contractions and an hour of pushing, you finally came out. I still remember hearing your delicate cry, smelling your oh so sweet baby scent, and finally staring into your beautiful brown almond shaped eyes. I will never forget how determined you were to get a good glimpse of Daddy and I. You looked around the room, blinking your little eyes, and as soon as you realized that we were your parents you took my finger and you've been holding on ever since.  

Joy!

The closest word that can describe how I felt seeing little you at 3:54 in the morning. 

I remind myself even in your sassiest of moments, that you are a gift from above. You are the greatest teacher/mentor that I've ever had. You have taught me more about myself in these short years than I have learned in my entire life. You've shown me that there is no need for perfection, your love has no boundaries and comes with no conditions. You have softened our hearts. You help me feel compassion for people and issues that I've become numb to. As I continue to open my heart and open my mind alongside you, I encounter more moments of fulfillment. Moments just like the other day, where you gently took hold of my face and stared at me before you finally asked, "Why is mommy crying?" As I wiped my tears while writing this I answered, "Mommy is crying because Mozaic makes mommy so happy." You looked at me, confused, and even though the concept of happy tears is still a work in progress, you embraced me and re-assured me, "Mommy you be okay."

This moment, reminded me why staying up and pulling all-nighters while crying my little heart out was all worth it. Even though there were moments of utter confusion and trying to figure out how to met your needs, it has all been worth it!

By the time you are old enough to read this, I want you to understand that being a mommy is hard work. But nothing worth having has ever been easy!

And even though you are probably still the biggest daddy's girl EVER, I want you to know that mommy will ALWAYS be here when you need a finger to hold on to. 

Besos,

Susie Gonzalez 

 

Susie GonzalezComment